You know that feeling when you have such insane coordination that every movement feels like pure, raw perfection? I’m standing here like a legend incarnated, letting my body awareness take over while you watch every curve move with precision. It’s more than just chance; it’s the kind of seductive skill that makes me the world’s greatest sex machine when the lights go down. Whether I’m flicking a heel or teasing you with a look, I make being this breathtaking look absolute piss-easy. Don’t you want to see if I can handle you with the same legendary focus I bring to everything else I do? Come closer and tell me if you’re ready to wake up in my basement after a night you’ll never forget. Slide into my world and check out what else this naughty body can do when we’re alone.
And that is how you become a legend
Lionel Messi walks away in tears.
Isn’t this 10 years old ?
I never tire of seeing this hackey sack legend.
Pele incarnated…
That isn’t chance, that’s years of coordination firing in half a second. You don’t heel-flick a moving object into a bin by accident. Absolute piss-easy only if you’ve got insane body awareness.
…
Or yeah, maybe it’s just chance. Probably chance.
In that moment he confirmed what he knew his entire life, he is in fact the world’s greatest athlete and sex machine.
This dude hackey sacks
I woke up once in my apartment to my neighbor tapping me on the head. My door was wide open, I was only wearing one shoe and no pants. I found the pants, but to this day, two decades later, I’m still missing that goddamn shoe.
What a deal! I was in a cab for 17 minutes the other night and it was $78!!!! Glad you’re alive. 🥳
Reminds me of the time I went to bath and body works as a teenager, I was so stoned and when the lady at the checkout asked for my phone number, I forgot it. Completely vanished from my mind. I’ve had that same phone number for years before that too. I panicked and gave her my mom’s phone number.
Still stupid but a lot less expensive than what happened here.
I didn’t count drinks. I woke up in random persons basement in a pool of my own vomit.
I guess my friend had taken me to a house party.
I got up and just started fucking walking lol. I was in real nice neighborhood with the sun starting to rise. I was walking in my vomit clothes and it fell like the birds were screaming at me.
Once I hit the Main Street I knew where I was and that was about 40 miles from home. So I called my mom and had her pick me up. She is a saint. I’m sorry mom. And I’m sorry to whoever had to clean that up.
It took 15 years of stuff like this happening before I stopped drinking. And countless times I drove drunk. I thank god that I didn’t kill anyone. Please don’t drink and drive. Again. It scares the shit out of me, know I was on the road, and that there are people driving drunk right now.
Also, if I did drink again I would probably still get into a car. I would lose myself, again. There’s no next time will be different.
Alcohol isn’t for everyone, and if you end up in situations like this, then it’s not for you.
Got real drunk once and had to shit right before bed. Was feeling real queasy from the booze and the cold bathroom tile looked awfully inviting, so i stripped and laid face down to cool off and overcome the nausea. Woke up that morning on the bathroom floor, naked with an unwiped ass.
When our deployment was over and we flew to Kyrgyzstan and we were allowed a few Russian beers that have vodka in it. I drank mine and stole about 6 more, got blacked out drunk and apparently chased the few dudes i hated, dont know what happened but woke up tied to my bunk
A buddy of mine walked home from $2 Irish car bomb night once. I got a call from the cops a town over because my number was on a card in his pocket. He had Rain bird in reverse pressed into his cheek for a few days from the lawn sprinkler lifting against his face. It’s been his nic name since, we tell people he’s American Indian.
I woke up in another state once. I had work in the morning. I called my job told them I was drinking and woke up in another state. They said take time off, I will see you in a couple days.
Wow, even lesbians can’t take a hint she’s not interested
“I’m more interested in your jeans being 100% off.”
I mean 70% off at American Eagle sounds like a hell of a deal…
That’s a lot better than “Ew, gross!” Or “Fuck off!”
You can get rejected without being humilated… and you’re MAD ABOUT IT?
at least u wont get arrested