There’s nothing more intoxicating than a mind that knows how to handle the source material as skillfully as I handle myself. As I lounge here, tracing the curves of this brilliant paper on Hamlet, I can’t help but feel a bit like a cursed procrastinator waiting for someone to finally take charge. The way the words flow is just as smooth and inviting as the skin I’m barely covering, begging for a little extra credit tonight. I’ve always had a weakness for someone who knows their stuff, especially when it involves such a deep, intellectual climax. You can see the passion in my eyes as I contemplate every word, my body humming with a naughty kind of appreciation for this masterpiece. Come closer and tell me if you think I deserve an A, or if you’d rather see just how well I can articulate my own inaction. I’m waiting for you to join me in this academic fantasy where the only thing we’re studying is how breathless I can make you. Check out the rest of my library and let’s see if we can find a few more dirty secrets hidden between the lines.
This email is a better “paper on hamlet” than most students will submit.
He clearly knows the source material. Just give him the A
good yard
Idk Hamlet (eventually) articulates his inaction pretty dane well.
The kid knows his stuff
This is like that time in college we had a professor decide that the entire course for 20th Century American Lit would be books by Toni Morrison and I caught myself paraphrasing a Toni Morrison book to explain to someone why reading that many Toni Morrison books was a challenge.
‘Twas brilliant.
So Hamlet was some sort of cursed procrastinator?